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“I don’t want anyone to know I met my significant other online.” The online-dating stigma is fast disappearing. “I don’t know which site to use.” If you’ve never dated online before, the options can be overwhelming.Besides, isn’t it better to meet someone online, even if it hurts your pride a bit, than to never meet him/her at all? Ask your friends for recommendations and evaluate what you want your online-dating experience to look like.Once stigmatized as a venue for the desperate, online dating has become a normal part of the mating game.A recent survey of 19,000 people who married between 20 found that 35 percent of these new couples met online, with about half of those meeting through an online dating site (Cacioppo et al., 2013).If you’re considering using a site, it’s more than likely that an equally charming, intelligent, and hilarious singleton is doing the same. “I’m too insecure.” Fear of rejection is a common excuse to avoid online dating.But if you can learn to get over the “nos” and get excited for the opportunities for more “yeses,” it becomes less about rejection and more about a new adventure in your life.
This can be especially beneficial for people who don’t have a large social circle.The most important question you should be asking yourself is “Which online dating site should I use?” Research conducted by Forbes shows there are almost 8,000 dating sites in the world, which is a crazy amount of options.I have a friend who was single for years and had grown so tired of it that she came to me for advice.She’d been asking everyone she knew to introduce her to every single they knew and had been trying the bar scene every weekend, but those things weren’t working for her.
And even though men generally contact women more than vice versa on these sites, research has shown that a sizable minority of women do reach out to men they find desirable online, suggesting that these sites allow some women to overcome traditional gender norms that cast them in a passive role of waiting to be approached (Scharlott & Christ, 1995). Shy or socially anxious individuals often have difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships (Alden & Taylor, 2004; Davila & Beck, 2002).