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And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.

There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.

And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.

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And if you really want to have a private chat you can make your own room with a password in each room. Do not give out your personal information such as your email address, home address and phone numbers in main room ( for your own security ). Do not post links to other sites except for our chat room links and our affiliates. If you private message someone and they do not respond, please do not continue to message them. Please Try to Have Only One Identity - Please do not use multiple user names. But, more importantly, it cause disruption in the chatroom.

Chat Moderators may kick you out of the room as a warning or permanently ban you, for but not limited to any of the rules listed above.

I was a latecomer to counselling, having previously considered therapy a largely American pursuit. By the time I reached that landmark age, without children and in a marriage that was beginning to lose its fairytale glow, my daily life was beginning to feel not unlike a soap opera.

It is hard to form trust in the people on any chatroom you participate in, and when an individual has several identities it causes mistrust, paranoia, as well as suspicion of new members. Please inform chat moderator if you want to use another name.

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Telephone calls, emails, face-to-face interviews, and visits to gay bars and dating sites such as , one can easily find men who want to have a “paydate”.